Absolution

I cling to a few delusions.  One of them is that I mean something to you.  Another’s our time together was special.

I knew there would be other women.  I just didn’t think you’d tell me about them in deference to my feelings because, you know, I’m special to you.

Clearly I suffer from delusions of significance.

I’m still digesting that I didn’t cross your mind when this free time appeared on your schedule.  It’s difficult to palate that I’m not even a blip on your radar screen.

So many times over the last few weeks I’ve wanted someone to hold me while I cried.  Nothing more than that—all I wanted was some simple, pure human contact.

When you told me she was involved with someone—a friend of yours—I was surprised.  Then the green-eyed monster raises my blood pressure—she has two guys to hold her?  *

What’s she like? my agitated mind queries.

Pretty darn special  my heavy heart intones.

I don’t know if you told me seeking some type of absolution.  You don’t need to seek forgiveness from me.