Gut Instinct

The letter comes, "I'm Re-evaluating my life; sorry I've drawn inward." She knew I would understand the need to ruminate alone. I'm very good at analyzing things--probably analyzing them to death. I think, as a woman, I know what her letter means. I hope I'm wrong, but I have to go with the gut.

I'm engaged in a forced flirtation with a guy that I'm not crazy about yet. I decided to give things a try and to re-evaluate my feelings (or lack thereof) for him. I am giving him time, but I don't feel that spark. With me the spark is usually automatic, but considering my track record, perhaps it's better to be neutral. Who knows, perhaps he'll grow on me. I dunno--my gut hasn't weighed in yet, but I can tell you that as of today he doesn't make my heart skip a beat.

I'm not nervous around him, so I guess it's not "like" yet. I like it when I'm head over heels; the anticipation, the butterflies, the Twitterpated feeling 24/7 make the day go by so much faster. I know it's the brain chemicals and the endorphins that make me feel this way, but still, I relish the feeling.

There's a certain amount of comfort when you know that someone likes you, so the risk to your own heart is inherently less--and I'm always careful with other people's hearts. I always knew that he liked me--could tell by his complements and solicitous attention. He likes my personality and my smile. I'm going to be upfront with him; I will explain to him that I don't know how I feel, so I don't want to rush into anything.

It's nice to be liked, though. I don't get that a lot. He asks about my kid and my sick cat, so I guess that makes him more concerned than many of my friends. He also thinks I'm pretty, and he does not qualify it with the statement, "in your own way." Most men do.  I chuckle at his certainty; we won't tell him that needs glasses. He likes short hair. I guess he already has earned some brownie points with me.